Keeping a marriage afloat can feel complicated and difficult for many couples. In the U.S., about 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Additionally, studies show that 57 percent of men admit to committing infidelity in relationships, and 74 percent say they’d have an affair if they believed they wouldn’t get caught.

An article in Today explains a common pattern: many men who cheat don’t leave their wives. Why? One reason is comfort and familiarity. As David Wygant from Your Tango points out, “Men don’t leave. They just want it all.” After being with their girlfriends, cheating husbands return home to a life where they can be themselves, play with their kids, and have their wives manage the household. It’s an ideal situation for many men.

With their wives, men feel they can be authentic—no pretenses, no masks. They’ve been together so long that the wife knows every part of him, allowing him to relax and be himself in a way he may not with others.

This complex dynamic helps explain why many men choose to stay rather than leave.